I Remembered You
by Damned Caeli
Summary: Integra lost control of herself as a vampire and had no choice but to ask Alucard to kill her? What will he do? (I still sUcK at summaries - A/I!!please review!!)


Disclaimer: I don't own HELLSING, simple as that. Pls. don't sue me.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Thanks for the people who reviewed "In the Dark with you"! I promise I will try to write as many A/I fics. I luv them soo much! And also, if there are some people waiting for the continuation of 'To remember or not to remember' I'll probably do it in 2 weeks or so. I just failed a math test and I am quite miserable, it reflects on the fics don't you think? Ja!!!! Hope you'll review this one too and the others coming soon. I am still thinking whether this is the sequel of "In the Drak With you"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I Remembered You  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He found her in the middle of the forest on a pool of blood and ashes, her whole body shivering as she tried to step out of the scarlet liquid staining her shoes. Sensing his presence, she looked up her eyes huge and confused as she tried to make sense of the scenario before her. There were bodies of her men, bloody bitten and shot dozen of times violently. Her gaze dropped down to the gun on her hand the discarded bullets on her feet.  
  
  
  
  
  
In a split second, she dropped the gun. It fell on the ground; it's full weight making an impact on the viscous liquid sending it splashing on her thighs.  
  
  
  
  
  
Alucard watched Integra struggle with herself. He bitterly reached out for her, wanting her to break off from her stupor. Integra's crimson eyes again looked at him and back to the blood on her feet.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Master," He called out, offering his hand again.  
  
  
  
  
  
Trembling hands reached out for him and he took it or rather he carried her. His hands circled around her waist and cradled her close to his arms. She breathes in his scent and snuggled deeper into him, letting her bloody hands grip the silk of his bow while the other the satin texture of his hair.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"What have I done?" She whispered against his hair, her eyes closed in anguish.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"You killed the ghouls and the men that were to turn to ghouls, please do not think about it so much." He said softly and quite quickly in a futile effort to appease to the already growing turmoil inside Integra.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Shut up." She lashed out, yet her voice was raspy and breaking as her eyes narrowed feeling anger not to Alucard or the ghouls she mercilessly killed but to herself. She loathes herself more than anyone else right now.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She bit her bottom lip, blood trickling down on the side of her mouth. "Put me down, Alucard." She ordered. He hesitated; he intended to return her to their coffin to somehow ease her pain.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
In the eerie glow of the moon, Alucard settled Integra on the soft grassy ground and faced her. He stood before her gazing at her sheer beauty, to her perfection tainted with blood and he realized then and there that blood never suits Integra. Her dusky skin was always an ugly contrast to the scarlet liquid that nourishes his kind- their kind.  
  
  
  
  
  
Without a word, he went over to her, her eyes following his every move. He pulled out the handkerchief from his pocket and gently wiped the blood stains on her hands and on her face.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Integra suffered in silence. As Alucard soothingly erased the traces of the blood of the men she killed, the guilt intensified more. She remembered enjoying it, she remembered loving the sensation and the sight of snuffing out the lives of the vampires and most especially her own men, her own men - human. Although they had asked her to kill them so as not to turn them into the mindless killing machines, she still regrets it.  
  
  
  
  
  
Why? Because she had enjoyed it. Integra's hands fisted against her side as she recalled the feeling of the mad rush of exhilaration as she annihilates one man after the other. She enjoyed, the feeling of the gun moving with each shot and its sound tearing at the flesh so violently and this is not the first time.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I am a monster." Integra whispered to herself. Alucard heard it, the word stabbing an emotional wound within him but he took no notice and continued on with the same precision and attention into cleaning his Master.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
But he had seen it too, few can actually control his gift, the power of immortality and the sheer strength coupled with it. Few are chosen but to those few, only a handful can survive sane. He gritted his teeth in frustration. No, Master is strong both in mind and in body, she can do this, Alucard thought to himself.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Integra was in a trance and she remembered her father, his love for her, the people she had worked with and her mortal life. She had dutifully and successfully accomplished every mission and made her deceased father proud when she was still a mortal and now this.  
  
  
  
  
  
She can control herself now but what of the future? She doesn't know herself anymore and even know she is still clueless as to why she had agreed on Alucard's proposal to change her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Then a solution formed in her mind.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She gazed at Alucard earnestly, "Look at me."  
  
  
  
  
  
Crimson eyes met crimson eyes and she smiled at his beauty, his patrician looks framed by that hair of his. "Alucard, I have a request. No, it's an order, a strict order coming from your Master."  
  
  
  
  
  
Alucard returned to cleaning Integra gripping the blood soaked cloth much tighter than before as he waited for that 'order'.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Kill me, Alucard." She said, her voice the same tone as the one she uses in mission briefing and such. Integra watched as his hands stopped working, he became deathly still, so still that Integra was surprised when his Jackal was suddenly aimed at her forehead.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Alucard smirked. "Master, are you sure?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She returned that smile with the same icy demeanor she was known and hated for, "Sure as the anger and regret that I am feeling now shoot me now."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The wind blew and Alucard's hair veiled his face, concealing whatever emotion he has at the moment. He pushed the gun a little bit forward causing Integra's head to slightly tip backward. "Why?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I've become like the ones I killed, I ache for blood for the death of others. I enjoyed this killing rampage."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"If so, they why stop?" He asked.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Damn it! Just kill me." Integra hollered at him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Alucard was left with no other choice, he aimed the gun this time more accurately and securely on her forehead and prepared to shoot. Integra didn't blink, she will meet death with open eyes and with the same dignity she had when she died as a human  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
There was a small click and then-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She fell into the ground, eyes wide open in surprise for instead of a bullet piercing her, she felt Alucard's body falling against her, his arms wrapped tightly and warmly against her.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I can't" he whispered to her ear, cradling her head and kissing the side of her face.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She felt anger, "If you won't do it then I'll do it myself." Blindly, she reached out for his gun and shoved it into her mouth. Alucard, instead of stopping her molded his body perfectly against hers and buried his face close to her neck, his lips against her flesh.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I admit that I gave you the gift of immortality because of my selfishness alone. I can not see death in you and would not want to see it in you for I don't want to be alone anymore." There was a break in Alucard's voice as he pushed in the truth. "The blame is on me, if you think you have chosen the wrong path with me then at least grant me this chance of holding and loving for the last - time."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A lone tear escaped Integra's eyes. What was her reason for accepting Alucard's proposal of immortality? Yes, it was for the mission to read this world of its filth, to not fear death and plunge on with sheer determination and also- and also because of Alucard. In her final days as a human, she wondered how it would be to be apart from him, to not feel his arms around her when he shields her from safety, to not see the smirk on his face to irk her off, to not hear his voice taunting her and challenging her and she realized that it would all be to empty.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She let the gun drop on the ground, eyes closed. Yes, it was madness from the beginning. Starting from the day she had allowed him to be on his side, to agree to his proposal and now to live with him, to continue on despite everything. But in this madness, she found serenity and in this serenity she stumbled on Alucard. She smiled, once again Alucard stopped her from succumbing to death.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Why?" Alucard found himself asking.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Integra answered him with the simplest answer she could find.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I remembered you." 


End file.
